Wishing Time Didn't Fly So Fast...
Tears are falling down my cheeks right now.And I know what you might be thinking...
Canada is NOT a nice place? Then WHY is she crying???
Let me tell you that that is NOT the case.
I've wanted to write about my GREAT experiences here, in Surrey, ever since our first day here. Kaya lang, tinatamad ako.
But today---well, I really needed to express my feelings.
No one really is there to listen at the moment. No one's ears are lent. No arms held open. And even if they did, I know, no one will understand.
Okay, I'll do a quick summary.
I live in my cousin's house, with my mom and my dad. She's got a husband and 3 kids---so I've got 2 nieces and 1 nephew. They're all soooooo very NICE and warm and my nieces and nephew respect me---I just feel and know they do. And we've been doing a lot lately---chatting, tutoring one another, trivia and story-telling, badminton and stuff. It's really been fun living with them.
But, the problem is..
Mom and Dad have finally found a place of our own in which we could live in, and we're transferring tomorrow, Sunday, noon.
The reason why I'm lonely is because... I don't wnt to go back being an ONLY anymore. Now that I've felt what it was living like you have 3 more siblings (they treat me as their eldest sister, and they're the BEST siblings and children one can ever ask for. I SWEAR.) ... I think I've felt REAL happiness, as a kid. And I don't want to go back to the OLD one anymore.
Though their house is really near our new home, I know they won't be able to visit all the time. And I will surely miss them, even though we've only known each other for at least a week or two. With them, I felt so welcomed. With them, I felt a great sense of belonging, as a child. It's not that my parents lacked in care or affection, and I'm not satisfied with my being an ONLY--- it's just that... with THIS family, I felt the happiness only kids who have siblings will---or had----ever have. I felt as if they were a REAL home---but a BIGGER one. That's how much I felt their love for the me, for the three of us.
And I know what you're also thinking: you'll really miss them... so why don't you just TELL them that???
Well, you see, that would be a little difficult to do, you know. It's because even though the kidsa are really nice and warm, they're not soooooo sweet, mushy and emotional. That's why I'm refraining from telling them---even if I really want to. That's the only sad side of the story.
I have yet another dilemma: I'm already strating to like this guy, and because of the far location of our house from his place, I won't be able to see him for a long, long time. Sucks, isn't it?
Oh well...
Finally.
Thanks to this blog, I have finally expressed my inner most feelings, all bottled up in me.
But I wish it weren't just MY blog that got to hear all my feelings... but the REAL people I want to convey them to.
I wish for one more thing:
I wish time didn't fly so fast at all.
(Posted by sofalofadofa... )
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